Relationships with your body and food: learn 6 symptoms that give rise to concern

A disturbed relationship with one’s own body

A disturbed relationship with one’s own body can be seen in a full-blown form in people suffering from anorexia. Patients with anorexia often perceive themselves as not thin enough, and strive for unattainable, imagined ideals. At the same time, they fail to see the devastating effect of restrictive diets on their body and refuse to acknowledge the facts. They obsess over the (completely natural and normal!) ‘fat’ rolls that form around their belly when they bend over. They turn a blind eye to shrinking muscles and weakness, and consider the loss of menstruation to be a natural part of the weight loss process.

This is obviously an extreme case, but any person’s relationship with their own body can become disturbed to some extent. It is about all the notions of one’s own body which have nothing to do with reality, the frequent self-evaluative thinking focusing on the body image. It is about the conviction “I’m fat” rather than “Right now, my body has more volume than before” – even though the latter better reflects the reality.

A disturbed relationship with your body may prevent you from appreciating all the work your body does for you day by day, because you mostly consider your body in terms of its ‘imperfections’ that are, more often than not, related to your appearance. You fail to appreciate the fact that your healthy legs allow you to move around and meet your friends and family with ease; that your arms probably allow you to play with children or carry groceries; that your efficient internal organs constantly cleanse your body, fight pathogens, and process millions of external stimuli.

A fundamental step that can help you to improve your relationship with your body is to think about it gently and appreciate what you have. This does not necessarily mean that you will lose motivation, for example, to improve your performance during workouts or break your own records in running, weight-lifting or team sports. You also don’t have to give up on your desire to manage your obesity or overweight. All you need to do is accept the fact that at this point your body has its current shape. It does not determine your value, and neither does it make you ‘a fatso,’ ‘a wimp,’ or ‘a wuss’.

What are the symptoms of disturbed relationships with food and one’s own body?

There are many symptoms that may indicate an inappropriate relationship with food. Some of them meet the criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis, but it is also important to pay attention to more discreet signs that simply make everyday life difficult and prevent you from experiencing pleasure. It is definitely worth working on them, too! Here are a few examples of situations indicating that your relationship with food or your body is alarming:

1. Your life revolves around food

• Do you wake up thinking about food, with a detailed plan for what and when you will eat?
• Do you give up on pleasures or decline spur-of-the-moment invitations to be able to stick to your diet?
• Do you keep yourself from going on an all-inclusive vacation for fear of being unable to control yourself when you see the food?

2. Food + other people means a source of stress

• Do you sometimes call off get-togethers so as to avoid an opportunity to break your diet rules, e.g. by eating unhealthy snacks?
• When with your friends, do you sometimes refuse meals and excuse yourself by saying “I’m not hungry” or “I’ve just had lunch,” even if it is not true?
• When with your friends or family, do you deliberately order the ‘healthiest’ low-calorie item on the menu or choose it from the foods set out on the table for fear of being judged?

3. You have rules that you strictly follow and you do not allow yourself to stray from them under any circumstances

• Do you never skip workouts, even when you have a cold or when you are just feeling bad and need rest?
• Do you feel like you have to ‘earn’ eating some of your favorite foods (e.g. by fasting, keeping a low-calorie diet or exercising heavily)?
• Does a small departure from the adopted nutritional rules or training routine make you completely abandon the healthy habit? Do you approach your diet and workouts on an ‘all or nothing’ basis?

4. You have trouble telling the difference between satiety and hunger

• Do you find it difficult to determine the amount of food that will make you feel full, when you have no scales or detailed calorie reference table?
• Do you feel uneasy leaving food on your plate, even when you are already full?
• Do you rely solely on a calorie counter app to determine the limit at which you should stop eating?

5. Emotions affect your habits and eating behavior

• Do you eat whenever you feel stressed, bored, or want to reward yourself?
• Do certain situations in your life trigger binge-eating or fasting episodes, and is this a recurring pattern?
• Do you usually feel guilt or remorse after eating a product from your off-limit food list?

6. You think that ‘losing weight’ / ‘gaining muscle’ or any other change in your appearance will fix your life

• Do you follow people who look ‘happy’ on social media, and think that their ‘success’ is directly related to their appearance? Do you think you too could feel like this if only… you could get rid of your belly rolls or build bigger biceps?
• Do you believe your life would be better if you were ‘slimmer’ / ‘more muscular’?
• Do you put off some life goals or pleasures ‘until you lose weight’ / ‘until you build a perfect chest’? (“I won’t go on a vacation until I am slimmer. I can’t show up on the beach looking like this.”)

As a consequence of all the situations and symptoms described above, eating or exercising start taking control over your life. How well you manage to stick to the rules you have set starts to determine whether you are okay and how you feel.

It is important to remember that disturbed relationships with food do not have to occur constantly and may vary in intensity. Sometimes they flare up at periods of high stress or in a new life situation, and subside with a return to emotional stability. Nonetheless, it is worth trying to discover the source of the problem and work on improving this sphere of life, even if worrying symptoms are not very pronounced at the time.

When can we speak of a disorder related to food and one’s own body?

While ‘a disturbed relationship with food’ does not meet the criteria for a disorder diagnosis, it is still worth trying to change it to a more positive approach. If you recognize yourself or a loved one in some of the situations described above, you are right to think that certain behaviors should probably be modified in order to avoid more serious problems and a full-blown eating disorder that can be classified as mental illnesses.

There are currently no strict criteria that would allow you to unequivocally answer the question whether your relationship with food is disturbed. However, experts do know a number of symptoms and clues, as well as ways to restore harmony in this area. The topic has been thoroughly researched by psycho-dietitians, psychologists and other scientists, so it is likely that universal methods for recognizing and naming incorrect relationships with food and one’s own body will be developed in the near future.

An eating disorder that involves a pathological preoccupation with eating healthy food and results in significant dietary restrictions is called orthorexia. However, it is not included in the latest version of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11).

In any case, if you feel that you need help to restore a healthy relationship with food and your body, it is a good idea to consult your family doctor, a psychologist or an experienced psycho-dietitian about your problem.

How to improve you relationships with food and your body?

Not every disturbed relationship with food or one’s own body requires guidance from a professional. There is a lot you can do on your own, by adopting the right attitude, analyzing patterns and habits, and looking for solutions that will work in your case. Here are some helpful tips:

1. Identify your problem

If you are reading this article, you are already one step closer to improving your relationship with food. To do it better, try to identify your individual problem accurately, think about it in depth, and break it down into more manageable pieces. This is the most important step. Determine which aspects of your relationships with food and body need improvement, and why they may be disturbed. Analyze the situations in which food takes control over you, and draw up an action plan. At the same time, there is no need for you to give up on your goals, such as eating healthier or exercising.

Accept the fact that the repair process may take a while – disturbed relationships do not develop overnight, and getting over them may not be simple either. In any event, give yourself time, lots of empathy and understanding. Look after yourself and treat yourself as your best friend throughout the process of change.

2. Give yourself permission to eat

For someone with a healthy relationship with food, this tip may sound like child’s play, but people who feel insecure in this area may have some difficulty putting it into practice. Even if you have broken your diet rules by letting your friends persuade you to have a few biscuits with your coffee, you do not have to repent for this deviation. You do ‘deserve’ to eat lunch, dinner, and all other meals. Your body needs food regardless of the situation.

3. Stop classifying foods as ‘good’ and ‘bad’

Acknowledge that there are no unambiguously bad or 100% good foods. A healthy and balanced menu may well include even such foods as chips, mayonnaise or cheese. On the other hand, eating excessive amounts of healthy celery stalks or drinking too much water can lead to health problems!

Focus on balanced nutrition and do not eliminate your favorite products from your diet just because, objectively speaking, they hardly add any nutrients to the menu. Eating chips and drinking soda every day is obviously not recommended, but if you feel that a small can of soda will ruin your health, drinking it may actually be the best thing you can do for yourself. Once you do it, go back to eating foods that make you feel mentally and physically good. You will see that ‘nothing bad has happened’ and that a little deviation from the diet rules does not mean you have lost control over what you eat on a daily basis.

4. Eat when you are hungry and practice mindful eating

It is useful to learn the rules of intuitive eating. One of them is learning to distinguish between the natural hunger and satiety cues and your cravings. Give yourself permission to leave the last few morsels on your plate when you feel you have had enough. Eat regularly, and your cravings will become less frequent and easier to identify.

Explore the concept of mindful eating to be able to recognize and manage mindless cravings more effectively. Focus on the flavor and texture of the food you eat and eliminate all distractions during meals.

Wrap-up: Your relationship with food is individual and unique. If you have healthy relationships with food and your own body, foster them. If you feel they need to be improved, implement the recommended techniques, and if you think you could use some support, consult an expert in psycho-dietetics. Most importantly, remember that your value as a person is not determined by your last week menu, or your weight, or body fat percentage.

_References:

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_{2. Burnatowska E, Surma S, Olszanecka-Glinianowicz M. Relationship between Mental Health and Emotional Eating during the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Systematic Review. Nutrients. 2022; 14(19):3989. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu14193989.}

_{3. Deborah Hill, Mark Conner, Faye Clancy, Rachael Moss, Sarah Wilding, Matt Bristow & Daryl B. O’Connor (2022) Stress and eating behaviours in healthy adults: a systematic review and meta-analysis, Health Psychology Review, 16:2, 280-304, DOI: 10.1080/17437199.2021.1923406.}